Clearly the sexual abuse of children is a problem here. I think the Church has no choice but to ban straight priests altogether. I’m not by any means saying that all straight ministers are pederasts. A few, here and there, are probably able to restrain themselves, perhaps even have no proclivities in that direction.

But how often do you hear of a gay minister sexually abusing children? You might say, well, Bernie, until recently at least,there weren’t any; they weren’t permitted to be ordained.

But that just further confirms their innocence, unless they were using drones. They weren’t there.

Straight priests, however, were there. And if we have to sacrifice some as collateral damage, they have only their fellow straight priests to blame, probably the most straight and the most narrow.

Have the cops give them the same test they use for drivers suspected to be Under The Influence, only with the cops looking for the opposite result. Isn’t that “profiling”? You bet it is. But if they walk the Straight and Narrow, book ‘em.

If they waver, steal their car and give it to me. Is the tank full? Check that out.

The point here is that Straight priests can no longer be trusted around our children.

In my home town here in Beaufort, SC, the Episcopaleans have fled the national church, i. e., seceded. The seccessionists only want straight priests–no gays–and not as slaves either. Don’t even think about that. Let’s not get too worked up and let our past overwhelm our present here.

But, hey, I’m suspicious. If the church is that homophobic, and they are, why?

Fanaticsm is denial. Maybe they’re afraid they’re gay and are afraid to admit it.

Worse, maybe they really are straight.