MY PET PEEVES has asked me to stop writing about him for a bit. Too much attention, he barks. Needs a break, fame is unforgiving, etc..

However, he has asked me to ask everyone I know—myself included, needless to say–to stop saying stupid things.

Here’s not only his list, but “at the end of the day,” why he can’t stand hearing them anymore:

“At the end of the day.”
Translation: Right now, I’m in the dark.
“Deal with it.”
Translation: I’m not.

“Pay it forward.”
Translation: Take the money and run.

“Giving back.”
Translation: To get more.

“It’s all about you.”
Translation: Make it all about me?

“I’m getting on with my life, leaving this behind me, moving on.”
Translation: Fuck you. AND it’s all your fault. AND none of it’s mine.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Translation: Nor do I want to.

“That’s boring.”
Translation: Either you’re afraid to say anything, or I’m afraid to hear it.

“I care about you.”
Translation: Duck. Run for cover. Look out..

I’m lonely.
Translation: I’m a snob. (I hate rejects like me.).

“We’re moving forward.”
Translation: We’re going backwards. No questions allowed.