UNSOLICITED CRITICISM
What you need to know to survive it

Unsolicited Criticism is, more often than not, a put-down, a pistol drawn from the holster of jealousy, of envy, perhaps even of sanctimony. “Your jump shot sucks.” “Your poetry leaves a lot to be desired.” “Isn’t all this painting, what you call ‘art,’ a lot of work for nothing?”

“Hey, thank you so much. Why, I didn’t realize… I’ll work on it.”

Of course you didn’t realize. It doesn’t suck. It doesn’t leave a lot to be desired. It isn’t all for nothing. If he does happen to be right, it’s coincidental. Motivation is everything: He wants it to suck, probably because his does.

Once you do realize, you ask him why he would say such a thing.

“Hey, just trying to be helpful, Man.” “Constructive criticism.” Or my favorite: “Sue me for caring.”

Do it, Man. Just once. Please, somebody out there do it.

I’m begging you. SUE THE SON OF A BITCH FOR CARING.